Why you’re still jobless & other musings on the economy

Permission to reprint given by Steven Depelo. (c)1.19.08Charmel and Kate both have lots of experience with the hiring process in the non-profit world.  Here is a recent gchat conversation we had in regards to the peculiar and maddening things some folks choose to do when they apply to work with us:

kate: if a job posting says “no emails”, why in the fuck would you email?  what is WRONG with people?!

charmel: wait.  your posting said no emails you don’t have an autoresponder that says, since you emailed about this position and I asked you not to  you will not be able to apply to any future positions EVER
charmel: You should write an article: 7 things not to do, even if you’re applying for a job at a nonprofit (since most of you don’t think that’s a real job–apparently)
kate: that’s a good call.  you and i could come up with way more than 7 i’d imagine: “don’t use any email address containing the name ‘hotgirl’ “
charmel: or pussycat
kate: or the number 69
me: pussy anything
kate: LMAO
charmel: do not send me your picture
kate: do not tell me that you enjoy doing yoga and running
charmel: Do not send me a resume as a paragraph, especially if it’s a paper resume
kate: true. or a 20 page resume
charmel: that says nothing. This isn’t the federal gov’t–don’t send a resume with your ssn
  Do not call my office after I said no calls
kate: yeah.  or come in
  wow i dont think ive gotten one with an ssn
me: or get mad at my staff when you can’t speak to me–Mississippi baby
kate: and proofread yo shit!
charmel: or explain in an interview that you haven’t done the work in the the job you’re applying for because no one’s ever “given you a chance”
kate: oh lawd don’t even get me started on interviews
charmel: Tell me the things that are wrong with my website in the cover letter–I knew that shit
kate: do not tell me that you applied for and are qualified for this job because you follow (insert name of prominent social justice advocate we all know) on twitter
  or that all you know of my organization is what  has been tweeted
charmel: do not proposition little girls on your twitter feed.  I will find out
charmel: Don’t drop my boss’s name in your interview as a threat–You’re never going to get hired
kate: OMG
  yeah exactly
charmel: Stop wearing flip flops you lazy bastard
  Don’t tell me I look like (prominent social justice advocate)
  I look nothing like (prominent social justice advocate)
kate: dont make a donation to my organization on the day you deliver your resume, that’s awkward
  omg.  did a white person say that?
charmel: Stop telling me how young I look and asking me how long I’ve had the job you jerk
  Nope.  Black ones
  All the time
kate: that’s so weird
charmel: I look nothing like her!!
charmel: Why is it when you’re trying to save money that it never seems like you’re saving any money
charmel: Wait–cut back to the stupid shit people do not to get hired
  Printed ink
  Handwritten resume
  yes–i said handwritten–for an admin position
kate: handwritten “writing sample”
charmel: Man I hate giving writing samples
  I never know what to give
kate: really?  don’t you run a blog?
charmel: Oh shit.
charmel: Now I can include a writing sample with curse words
kate: don’t spritz your application with cologne
  that’s creepy
kate:  don’t send a cover letter for the wrong job
charmel: ohh good one
We know the smart people committed to social change/love us enough to read our blog posts aren’t doing these things, but you know people who are. We hope you’ll get a good laugh out of our banter and then *forward this to them so they’ll stop*.  Please?


6 thoughts on “Why you’re still jobless & other musings on the economy”

  1. LMAO!!! Yes!! Someone on TOK’s twitter whose name was “bussyjuice” tried to come for me. I was like-“I cant take anything you say seriously..and neither should anyone else!”

    Lemme give the employee perspective though….the things supervisors do.

    1) Dont tell me to come for a 10AM interview when you know damn well you have a 10 AM meeting. Are you testing me for patience or just fucking with me-seriously?- real story-happened at my job last week.

    2) Dont give me a multi-step assignment a day before its due…I bust my ass to do it THEN YOU DONT FUCKING READ IT! Or completely flip the script 2 minutes before its due.

    3) Dont include me on emails about benefits that you know dont fucking apply to me b/c Im not salaried or b/c Im part-time. The only thing worse than not having coverage is being reminded that I dont fucking have it.

    I could really go on, but I have to complete an assignment due today that I was assigned yesterday….

    1. good point! i think we could collectively come up with a really good things supervisors shouldn’t do post also, unfortunately. then tie it all in to a super-post about how the non-profit industrial complex fosters ineffective and unsustainable working. alas, it sounds like we all have tardily assigned work on our agendas…

        1. Oops, sorry, I’m still trying to recover from that shit. I’ll try to get something together soon, if not on that specifically!

  2. hahaha! we aren’t the federal gov, don’t send your ss#!!!! and DON’T spritz cologne!!!! hahahaha!! Mandisa & Kate, I have MORE than an earful about the topic you suggested writing about…as you both have heard pieces of…

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